I feel as though they should be called the "Terrifying Twos"

The Terrible Twos: Fact Versus Fiction

General truth about the terrible twos: Two-year-olds are opinionated.

Why it’s tough: Two-year-olds are opinionated. But so are sixteen-year-olds, five-year-olds, and nine-year-olds. Two-year-olds probably get the bad rap, then, because they have opinions without a shred of self-consciousness — they couldn’t care less if you’re in public when they decide it’s worth shrieking bloody murder to defend their principles.
Why it’s not so terrible: If you think about it, at least with two-year-olds, you know where you stand. They aren’t shy about letting you know what they want, which is more than you might get from a cagey teenager.

General truth about the terrible twos: Two-year-olds have flawed reasoning.

Why it’s tough: While two-year-olds can talk (either sort of, or completely, depending on the kid), their reasoning sometimes calls for a code breaker. You can argue with — or even disagree with — a coherent opinion. But a sobbing two-year-old sometimes doesn’t make any sense, and it’s difficult to calm someone down when you have no clear notion of what’s upsetting her.
Why it’s not so terrible: You can be pretty sure you’ll be able to outwit a two-year-old. So even if you’re not entirely clear about what’s troubling her, you have a great shot at distracting her. And, hey, when dealing with an opinionated two-year-old, you also have size on your side. You can always pick her up and remove her from a situation, which is something you can’t always do with a grade-schooler.

General truth about the terrible twos: Two-year-olds are slaves to their moods.

Why it’s tough: They’re hungry. Or tired. And in between, they’re often cranky. So are we, of course, but two-year-olds don’t have the ability to rise above it the way older people do. Sometimes their mental or physical gas tanks hit empty — and a two-year-old running on fumes is not a pretty sight.
Why it’s not so terrible: Fortunately, if you know this about two-year-olds, you can guard against meltdowns by being prepared with snacks and engaging toys, and by tackling errands (or activities) after your child has napped. With a little planning, you really can circumvent some ugly scenes.

General truth about the terrible twos: Two-year-olds have nothing better to do.

Why it’s tough: A snit that lasts all morning and makes everyone late is not a problem for a two-year-old. It’s not as if she’s got other plans for the day.
Why it’s not so terrible: If you tell someone you were late because you were managing a tantrum from your two-year-old, you will most likely be met with sympathy. This ready-made excuse for lateness can come in handy…even on days when your toddler isn’t to blame.

General truth about the terrible twos: It’s a state of mind.

Why it’s tough: The “terrible twos” can hit at 18 months or at 34 months. It’s less an age than a stage of development, so you may be dealing with it when you least expect it.
Why it’s not so terrible: Your child may breeze right by year two (or three) without making you think the word “terrible” — especially if you make a point of focusing on (and savoring) — the wonderful moments that undoubtedly mark the terrific twos.
See more toddler behavior and discipline tips.